Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize