Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
