he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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