YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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