we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
