this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
