I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize