and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
