his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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