Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
