if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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