I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
