Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
