Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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