Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No subtext here. People are naked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
