Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
