In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
