Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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