She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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