the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
