Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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