IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
