would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
