he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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