I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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