I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
