i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
