Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize