see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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