But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
