just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We are all done wearing pants today
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
