I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
