I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
