he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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