Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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