i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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