So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Pooping to opera.
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