Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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