You can't motorboat a personality
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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