You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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