he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
