she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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