I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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