I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
