Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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