Im at strip club and am horny
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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