The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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