I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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