Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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