Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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