Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't make out with my wife yet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
