So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
