You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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