You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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