Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in