Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is Oprah even human
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.