You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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