I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
