Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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