you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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