Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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