Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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