One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Less talking, more tequila
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
