we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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