Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
