haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
