He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
